


Ambivalence

by Sona_Boobelle



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universes, Conflicted Emotions, Drabbles, Love/Hate, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9638402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sona_Boobelle/pseuds/Sona_Boobelle
Summary: A collection of Malzahar/Kassadin drabbles :) I love them.





	1. Time and time again

Kassadin infuriates him. 

Kassadin makes him nauseous.

Kassadin makes him cry hot, anger tears. 

But Kassadin makes him feel safe and loved at the same time as well. His feelings were mixed for the other, and it made him hurt all over. Malzahar's cheek is pressed against the man's chest, as their body would rise in soft breaths. His cheeks were puffy and pink from his previous crying, but Kassadin was here to soothe his pain, like he always did. No matter how much Malzahar lashed out and how his tongue ran poison, Kassadin still loved him. It made him feel like a bad person, he probably was. 

Kassadin's hand cards through his hair, tangling with those brown locks of his, and Malzahar sighs blissfully. He could get used to this forever. In the man's arms, enveloped in their care and scent that reminds him of the warm Shuriman sun. "Kassadin, I love you." Malzahar's words are soft and feeble, and thin like glass, but Kassadin's response caresses him and lulls him to a warm place. "I love you too, Malzahar."


	2. Beautiful

Kassadin was the most beautiful man in the world. From how their raven locks of hair fell loosely around their shoulders, and how taut the man's muscles were as they maneuvered themselves across the fields. Nothing else in the world mattered, when Kassadin looked at him, talked to him, kissed him, and made love to him. Kassadin was to die for, and Malzahar would gladly step up for tribute. 

 

Kassadin was the kindest man in the world. When their fingers graced his own, and told him not to 'worry about it.' Malzahar's heart melted into a puddle, if it haven't already at this point. It was particularly windy, and the sand blew harshly, some particles dusting its way past his cowl an into his eyes, Malzahar huffs, blinded by the sand, his hands make meager attempts to navigate his way home by sidling against the wall of buildings, but that wasn't needed, when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist. Malzahar stiffened, but the contact was familiar, and the thought of Kassadin came to his mind. He wanted the latter to speak so badly, to confirm his suspicion, but it was near impossible from how the sands howled and whirled around them. So Malzahar slumped against their touch and let himself be carried. He ended up on Kassadin's couch, and the said man looks at him fondly. "I took you to my home, it was the closest." Malzahar nods in understanding, his place was a bit further from the rest of buildings. "Thank you." 

 

Kassadin was more gentle than anyone else in the world, whether it be in their words or when they made love. "U-Unnfh-- Kassadin... close..." His words fall messily from his throat, and the Void Walker all but smiles, pressing a flurry of kisses against the seer's neck. "Come for me." And Malzahar does. Leaving him a panting and sweaty mess on the man's bed. "Kiss me." Malzahar says, and his hand wounds around Kassadin's cheek, "Another? Don't you think you had enough?" The man laughs playfully, a gentle rumbling that coaxes Malzahar to lean forward and smooch them first. "I can never get enough of you." He retorts, and Kassadin smiles against his lips as they fall onto the bed again, in the arms of each other.


	3. Fish bait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siren and sailors AU

Kassadin found himself drowning, his hands grasping at the surface, trying to hold onto anything, but all he felt was the cool waters run between his fingers. His lungs burned and sang, as his breath left him with his eyelids beginning to slip closed... he slept away into oblivion. 

 

Then he heard him. The voice that woke him. The voice that made his vision blur and focus until he was seeing the blue skies above him, with the warm sand against his back. Kassadin stirs, dazed from everything, and a hand rubs placidly at his eyes to rid of his drowsiness. He's not entirely sure where he is, maybe a beach, but where was his ship? And where was the source of that voice? 

 

The man looked about himself, but he couldn't find any other forms of life besides the lone crab that scuttled about the sand before disappearing out of sight behind a large rock. Kassadin pauses, stretching his limbs, they felt all right, no pain whatsoever, but it didn't help him in regaining his memory. He was drowning, drowning... and then he heard a voice, a song. He presses a hand against his chest, feeling how his heart thumped rapidly. He feels entranced by the song, wanting to hear more, and more he shall get, because the same melody filters to his ears again, soothing his soul with its bliss.

 

Kassadin finds himself walking now, walking towards something, the song, but he can't help but hope that the walking wasn't aimless, only to reach the end to find nothing to fulfill him. But a sense of confidence fills him, he doesn't understand why, but he's sure he would find his answer ... His feet stop, toes sinking into the sand as they'd comfort him with warmth, his eyes are glazed, giving the man a dull and sleepy look... the song is louder here. 

 

And he finds them, him, the melody that chilled him, and called to him. They appear to be a man, with brown locks of hair that stop just above their chin, eyes that remind him of the sparkling waters... sun kissed skin with a beautiful body... The creature delights in a smile, "Come closer, you look cold, I'll keep you warm." And Kassadin was cold in truth, his clothes were still damp from the seawater when his body was plunged into the sea. He stumbles awkwardly towards the beautiful man, till his face was cupped into the other's palms, breath shaky. "Do you want to know my name, Captain?" The man, no, thing, said— as no one alive could be that beautiful. Kassadin is shaking, "I... I know your name, siren." 

 

The spell is broken, the thing is no longer smiling, but grinning as it displays its many fangs. Kassadin manages to wrench himself free from Malzahar's grip but suffers a small cut to his cheek where the siren bared its claws. It's now that Kassadin could see the other without being under the siren's intoxication of its song. "You resisted." Malzahar said ruefully, the beast flexes its lower half, tail swaying with the gentle currents of the water. Kassadin's expression hardens, "You did the same to Breena." It's a stare off now, both wearing masks of hatred.

 

"I did not kill her, I would never... YOU should know that." A tremble vibrates from Malzahar. "Keep telling yourself that," Kassadin grits his teeth, "—you can't run from your past, siren." 

 

A look of conflictment crosses Malzahar's face, and he draws back as if hit physically from the man's words. "I didn't..." He whispers, hesitantly, as seeing the Captain did not stand and walk away from him, the siren looks them over with a tint of sadness before holding the man's face in his hands again. Kassadin did not pull away. So Malzahar kissed their cheek, only to slip away into the waters again, this time, gone. 

 

Kassadin curses at their absence.


	4. Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories were insignificant.

Memories. They were insignificant, they didn't help him speed up the oncoming onslaught by the Void. They were also painful, made him scream, made his temper rise, and left him confused.

It was that, that he slept in his forgotten bed in Shurima tonight, his fingers curling within the rough fabric of the sheets. The scent surrounding him on the bed was fairly pleasant, nostalgic, and made him grow heavy with drowsiness. He missed being him. He missed being the Malzahar everyone loved. No longer do loving hands envelop his body, but the cold touch of the Void that trapped his soul. 

This wasn't the life he wanted.

The door to the room opens, but Malzahar needn't to use his clairvoyance to tell who was at the doorframe. Who else was able to trace his steps wherever he went? The same creature, the same man, but not the thing he once loved.

"Prophet." Kassadin doesn't address him by his name anymore. He's not a human, he's an object. Objects don't have names. Malzahar doesn't turn, his gaze is set on the wall to the left of him, with his back facing the other, breathing soft.

"You remembered your old home, I see." Kassadin's voice is warped and ugly, a sound Malzahar hates. Kassadin is changed like him, reduced from a man to a monster, but Kassadin claims to be on the side of good. Words. Just words. It don't change a thing.

"Yes." Malzahar's voice is soft, and his voice lacks the corruption the Void granted him. For a moment. "But do not think I will spare you. You are the enemy."

The enemy.

Is he?

Then what makes Kassadin?

The hero?

Hero.

Hero.

hero.

Something ugly twists in the pit of his stomach. 

"Fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His person was insignificant.
> 
> edit: HEY, WHAT ELSE SHOULD I WRITE NEXT.  
> gimme a prompt, peeps.
> 
> i have this siren au in mind, but nguahawr. are y'all even interested in that xenophile shit, lmao.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kassadin is shipwrecked on an island, and he's not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look I did the siren au you requested lol 
> 
> Hey look it's weeks late lol  
> oops

His melody was intoxicating. It made sailors go mad, all craving for his affections, his kiss that would relieve them of this torment, a kiss full of sharp fangs and death. But Kassadin knew better than to fall for a siren's charms. He knew that it would only result in a man's heartbreak, or gruesome end. So he avoided Malzahar, busying his schedule with work to avoid any encounters at all with the other. But the island was quite small- even with one person inhabitating it, and there wasn't really any other place where he could run and hide from the siren's calling. And on one night, he submitted, unable to resist the urges any longer. 

Kassadin finds himself on his knees against the shoreline, the ocean's cool, moonlight waters brushing against his skin as he'd await death. Death was promised in life, it was inevitable... he was merely only fulfilling that promise early, and sealing the promise that the siren would have a nice meal on his departure.

Malzahar greets him with a purr. "Looks like I broke your iron will." Malzahar is so close... closing in on him, he is going to die... But Kassadin is unable to move, he no longer has any control of his body. "How does it feel to succumb to your fate?" The siren hisses, and Kassadin wants to get up, to run, but he can't. Malzahar is so close to him... their breath puffs against his exposed neck ominously. "-But not today, not you I will kill." Malzahar kisses his neck, and departs into the ocean. And a couple seconds later, Kassadin regains control over his body again. He's a bit in disbelief. Malzahar could have killed him in those seconds but they hadn't. 

Kassadin just hopes that the siren isn't interested in him for a later meal.


End file.
